Dr. Debra Soh, former sex researcher and author of Sextinction The Decline of Sex and the Future of Intimacy, joins Chris Williamson to examine the unprecedented decline in sexual activity among young people. Soh brings expertise from her academic background in sexual psychology and neuroscience, having conducted brain imaging studies on male sexuality.

The conversation explores the multifaceted causes behind what researchers call the 'sex recession' - from technological substitutes like porn and AI companions to biological factors including endocrine disruptors and hormonal birth control. Soh's book Sextinction features hands-on investigations into each alternative, including her personal experiments with sex dolls and AI boyfriends.

They examine how hypergamy intersects with women's increasing educational and economic success, creating what Chris terms the 'tall girl problem' - fewer eligible men for successful women to date. The discussion covers plastic surgery trends, the psychology of BDSM, and the concerning rise of involuntary childlessness among women who delayed reproduction.

The Sex Recession: Data Behind Declining Intimacy

Multiple datasets consistently show one in three men and one in five women haven't had sex in the past 12 months, with the trend accelerating over the last 20 years since the internet's rise.

The decline spans all types of sexual activity: 'less partnered sex, less intercourse, less anal sex, less all types of sex, oral sex, partner masturbation, solo masturbation as well' - Debra

Even adolescents show lower masturbation rates despite parental consent studies, indicating the phenomenon extends beyond just partnered activity to solo sexual behavior.

COVID accelerated existing trends but didn't create them - the decline was documented starting in the 1990s with the most prominent changes in the last two decades.

Technology's Role: From Porn to AI Companions

Sextinction explores how technological substitutes activate the same brain networks as real sex, making them compelling alternatives that require less effort than human interaction.

AI companions have become remarkably realistic: 'you really cannot tell that it is an AI' with voice capabilities and erotic role-playing that can cause genuine emotional attachment - Debra

The sex doll industry generated $20 million during the pandemic alone, primarily serving high school-educated men earning around $40K annually who seek alternatives to dating.

Chris proposes the 'male sedation hypothesis' - that screens, video games, and porn are sedating men out of their natural status-seeking and reproductive behaviors, preventing the antisocial behavior historically associated with large populations of sexless young men.

Hypergamy and the Tall Girl Problem

The 'six-six-six rule' (six feet tall, six-figure income, six-inch penis) creates unrealistic standards, with calculations showing only a tiny percentage of men meet these criteria.

Chris's 'tall girl problem' describes how high-performing women face an ever-decreasing pool of ultra-high performing men, creating invisibility for most men and difficulty for successful women.

One in seven couples now has the woman as primary breadwinner, with the top quintile of female earners dating men from the bottom two quintiles - reversing traditional hypergamous patterns.

Men in relationships where they're not the primary breadwinner are 50% more likely to use erectile dysfunction medication, and male job loss doubles divorce likelihood while female job loss shows no effect.

Hormonal Birth Control's Hidden Impact

Only 11% of women of childbearing age use the pill specifically, though birth control broadly affects mating psychology by halting ovulation and the associated behavioral changes.

During ovulation, women wear more provocative clothing, seek social interaction, and men can detect their fertility through appearance, scent, and walking patterns - all suppressed by hormonal contraception.

Women's mate preferences change on versus off the pill, with some discovering they're no longer attracted to their partners when discontinuing hormonal birth control after years of use.

The artificial suppression of female fertility through birth control may contribute to declining male testosterone, as men's hormone profiles are influenced by the fertility of women in their local environment.

The Involuntary Childlessness Crisis

Four out of five women who reach menopause without children didn't intend to be childless, representing a massive crisis of 'involuntary childlessness' that receives little attention.

The total maternal rate (children per mother) has barely changed from 2.6 to 2.4 over 50 years - the real issue is women not becoming mothers at all, not mothers having fewer children.

Women's fertility drops by half by age 35, with menopause beginning in the 40s, creating a definitive biological window that can't be negotiated despite technological interventions.

Chris predicts a 'huge fucking crisis of middle-aged femininity' within 15 years as Gen Z and millennial women age out of fertility while having focused primarily on career advancement.

Social Media and Beauty Standards Evolution

One in ten men lose interest in having sex with their partners after looking at influencers, while women feel less sexually desirable after social media use.

Modern beauty standards represent 'caricatures of the most sexually dimorphic physical traits' - extreme jawlines and height for men, exaggerated feminine features for women.

Gen Z women are getting breast augmentations and labioplasty influenced by pornography, while men get penile filler injections even for sexting purposes.

The shift from early 2010s aesthetics (fake tan, big hair) to current trends emphasizes surgical enhancement as status signaling - 'here's my designer titties' replacing designer handbags.

BDSM, Trauma, and Sexual Preferences

Research shows interest in BDSM and kink correlates with severe physical abuse in childhood, more so than among men with porn problems or even convicted child sex offenders.

Sexual masochism is the only paraphilia typically found in women, potentially explained by evolutionary adaptations for enduring pain during childbirth and demonstrating resilience.

Studies find more women than men are aroused by aggression in porn and actively seek more aggressive content, challenging narratives about male-driven sexual violence.

The popularity of A Court of Thorns and Roses and similar romanticy novels reveals women's archetypal desire for partners who are 'dangerous, but not around me' - capable of protection but controlled.