William Costello, a doctoral student researching incels and sexual psychology, joins Tom Bilyeu to examine the 'sex recession' and its implications for population collapse. Costello studies involuntary celibates and mating psychology, while Bilyeu brings his perspective on relationships and human flourishing.

The conversation explores evolutionary mismatches in modern dating, from birth control's unintended consequences to dating apps' business models that profit from keeping users single. They examine how 80% of childless women are involuntarily so, often leaving partner-finding 'too late,' as documented in Birth Gap by Stephen Shaw.

The discussion delves into incel psychology, revealing how these men often prefer victimhood identity over the anxiety of trying. They analyze cross-sex mind reading failures that fuel sexual conflict and consider whether AI relationships might provide solutions or create new problems.

Drawing from works like The Power of Myth and Long Walk to Freedom, they examine how the absence of coming-of-age rituals contributes to extended adolescence. The conversation concludes with strategies for bridging gender understanding and the importance of free speech in navigating these sensitive topics.

The Birth Control Paradox and Delayed Partnership

Birth control creates an evolutionary mismatch where 80% of childless women are involuntarily so, often because they 'simply left it too late to find a partner' - William

Birth Gap by Stephen Shaw documents women repeatedly reporting they couldn't find the right partner in time, facing a 'really, really squeezed time window' when starting at age 30

The pill is 'probably the most paradigm shifting technology for our mating psychology' but creates unintended consequences for family formation

Dating Apps: Designed to Keep You Single

Dating apps' business model requires keeping users single and swiping - 'Why would their business model be anything else?' - William

Apps expose us to more potential mates 'in a few minutes than we would be exposed to in a lifetime throughout our ancestral history'

This creates FOMO and commitment issues: 'Why would we be inclined to commit to one partner when we're getting the impression that there is a limitless supply?'

Modern rejection anxiety stems from ancestral psychology where rejection was costly due to limited potential mates and reputation damage

The Incel Identity: Hope, Cope, and Rope

Incels categorize their responses as 'hope' (self-improvement), 'cope' (problematic coping mechanisms), or 'rope' (suicide)

The incel identity provides 'rich lexicon of humorous trolling terminology,' fraternity, and 'black and white rubric through which to view the world'

Incels resist other members 'ascending' (finding romantic success) because it 'dispels their idea that they never stood a chance'

Extreme incel behavior 'more typically looks like suicide rather than an act of violence towards others' - suicidality rates are 'just so high'

They have 'very strong external locus of control' believing they 'can't affect change in their own life at all'

Cross-Sex Mind Reading and Sexual Conflict

Men send dick pics because they 'would love to receive such a picture themselves' - a classic failure of cross-sex mind reading

For men, 'some sex is always better than none,' but for women, 'there really is bad pizza because it's a costly thing and they'd rather go without'

When Men Behave Badly by David Buss explores how treating 'different things the same' becomes oppression rather than equality

Legal systems using 'reasonable person standard' for sexual crimes matter greatly whether that person is 'a reasonable woman or a reasonable man'

The Missing Rituals of Modern Masculinity

The Power of Myth by Joseph Campbell argues society lacks coming-of-age rituals, creating 'interminable youth' without clear transitions

Long Walk to Freedom describes Mandela's coming-of-age ritual involving circumcision and warrior credos as 'absolutely extraordinary' example of masculine initiation

Japanese Hikikomori represent 'lost generation of young men who've just completely retreated and barely even leave their homes'

The 'devouring mother' dynamic occurs when absent fathers allow sons to 'stay inside, getting food delivered, getting their mom to clean up after them'

AI Relationships and Future Mating Markets

AI girlfriends will 'scratch one itch for incels, the loneliness need, the sexual need potentially' but won't provide status from being sexually selected

There's 'no status afforded to men who have the best artificially intelligent girlfriend' unlike being chosen by a real person

AI relationships might serve as 'training ground' for real mating market since 'there's no training ground for the mating market' currently

Social acceptance will likely follow pattern of online dating: 'super gross for 10 years or whatever. And then it will just be like, wait, you're dating a real person? That's so weird'

Historical Lessons and Societal Collapse

Tom advocates mandatory reading of The Gulag Archipelago, Mao The Unknown Story, and The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich to understand how '100 million people are dying'

While 'we'll rebound' from current sexual dynamics, 'that doesn't help' when millions die during societal collapse periods

Arranged marriages show higher success rates because reduced options force couples to make 'the best out of it' rather than constantly seeking alternatives