In this episode of the Order of Man podcast, host Ryan Michler and co-host Kip Sorensen, leadership coach at Go Lead Stronger, discuss the challenges and responsibilities of modern fatherhood and masculinity. The conversation begins with personal reflections on Father's Day, leading into a debate on whether hosting UFC fights at the White House is a wholesome cultural event. They then answer listener questions, starting with practical strategies for adult men to build intentional friendships without awkwardness. Next, they address how to lead a flat marriage back to intimacy by taking assertive initiative. Ryan shares personal insights on hitting rock bottom, overcoming alcohol addiction, and shifting identity using concepts from Feeling is the Secret. The hosts also explore breaking generational parenting patterns, examining non-canonical religious texts like The Book of Enoch and The Book of Jubilees, and preparing mentally for a first-time archery elk hunt. Throughout, they emphasize self-reflection, extreme ownership, and the power of a strong brotherhood.

Cultivating Adult Male Friendships Without the Awkwardness

"Instead of asking a guy to hang out, invite him into something you're already doing." - Ryan. This removes the awkwardness of feeling like you are asking a grown man on a date.

"The best thing that you can do for— with guys is just play to ego." - Ryan. Opening a conversation with a genuine compliment or asking for advice on a skill lowers barriers instantly.

"Always be the guy who puts things together and then invites other people." - Ryan. Leaving a portion of spots open in group events, like a hunting trip, allows new men to be integrated into the circle.

Leading a Flat Marriage Back to Passion and Connection

"If you're a man, and you're noticing things that are going south... and you're not bringing it up, what you're actually being... is that you're being cowardly." - Ryan. Bringing up issues takes courage and builds trust.

"There's a big difference in this interaction when you go first versus you being reactionary." - Kip. Taking the initiative shows the spouse that the relationship is a priority, not just a compliance measure.

"Men and leaders come with a plan." - Ryan. A husband should present two or three concrete ideas, such as weekly date nights or a weekend getaway, rather than relying on his wife to fix the dynamic.

"Start with yourself, to pull, not to pull her, but to just start on yourself." - Ryan. Taking ownership of one's own shortcomings encourages the spouse to open up about her own struggles without feeling attacked.

Overcoming Addiction and Finding the Catalyst for Change

"Hiding poor behavior is the signal that something needs to stop." - Ryan. Isolation and siloing oneself mentally and emotionally are key indicators of a deepening crisis.

"One of the first things I noticed when I stopped drinking was my energy shot through the roof, and I recaptured no less than 4 hours of every single day." - Ryan. Removing alcohol lifted a hidden governor on his potential.

As explained in Feeling is the Secret by Neville Goddard, lasting behavioral change requires shifting your identity and internal feelings first, rather than relying solely on willpower.

Breaking Generational Patterns of Emotional Detachment

"You can only do what you know how to do, even if it's subconscious." - Ryan. Breaking a pattern you did not choose requires seeking out new operating systems through high-quality mentors and fatherhood groups.

"Focus on who you're serving. Don't worry about trying not to be someone, 'cause... there's a sense of holding your past and dragging it into your present." - Kip. Fathers should focus on who they need to be today.

Kip commits to asking his daughters direct, assertive feedback questions: "In what way am I making those things more difficult for you right now?" - Kip.

Exercising Discernment in the Pursuit of Spiritual Truth

A listener asks about reading non-canonical texts like The Book of Enoch and The Book of Jubilees, prompting a discussion on looking for truth outside traditional boundaries.

"I don't think that the Catholic or Christian canon has the market on truth... I think there is truth to be found everywhere." - Ryan.

"Be self-aware of why you're doing it... because they've already have a conclusion and opinion about something. They're looking for evidence that they're right." - Kip.

Historical context shows canonization was a gradual process, with key milestones like Athanasius' letter in 367 AD establishing the 27 New Testament books.

Mental Preparation for the First Archery Elk Hunt

"You are probably going to screw it up. It's probably what's going to happen." - Ryan. Accepting that mistakes are inevitable helps reduce performance anxiety.

"Lower your expectations of your performance... don't really attach [your] sense of worth or the fun of the hunt to the outcome." - Ryan.

"When we're wrapped up about how we're looking, you're going to be closed off to learning." - Ryan. Asking questions and laughing at oneself are essential for skill development.