The episode features William Hanson, British etiquette expert, author of Just Good Manners, podcaster, and content creator known for his humorous approach to teaching manners and protocol.

Host David Rubin interviews Hanson at the 22 members club in Mayfair, London, with two plates of peas recreating the UK cover of Hanson's book, discussing everything from proper pea-eating technique to modern dating etiquette.

Hanson shares his journey from teaching etiquette at age 16 to avoid rugby at school, to running The English Manner finishing school, to becoming a viral social media personality who balances serious etiquette advice with entertainment.

The conversation explores Hanson's philosophy that etiquette should be presented with humor ("a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down"), his views on modern manners failures, and practical advice for navigating social situations from dinner parties to first dates.

From Uptight Child to Etiquette Entertainer

Hanson started teaching etiquette at age 16 while still at school to the younger years, admitting "this entire my entire career has just been 18 years of avoiding playing rugby"

After accidentally receiving press coverage in Tatler and the Telegraph, The English Manner (formerly a finishing school) recruited him, with the founder being ex-Royal household staff

His comedic epiphany came in 2012 on ITV's Let's Do Lunch with Gino and Mel when he made a joke at the Italian host's expense and got his first big laugh from the studio audience

"I had my TV voice and I would sort of put on this ever so slightly affected voice. And this is this is my actual voice now" - William on ditching his early affected presentation style

His current social media persona is "me plus 10% maybe" - a slightly dialed up but authentic version of himself, unlike his early overly serious television appearances

The Viral Pea-Eating Controversy

Hanson's video on the British way to eat peas became one of his most viral, generating strong opinions despite being a simple etiquette demonstration

British etiquette requires keeping fork tines facing downward and spearing peas individually, using the knife as a pusher, rather than turning the fork upside down to scoop them

The video attracted inappropriate comments asking about "rubbing one out under the table" which Hanson had to urban dictionary to understand, eventually responding to one commenter to "seek professional or medical help"

The Archbishop of Banterbury meme account screenshotted his response and posted it, causing the joke to spread across his videos, which Hanson now finds "getting a touch boring"

Dining Disasters and Recovery Protocols

When unable to swallow food like gristle or fishbones, spit into your dominant hand while using your non-dominant hand to shield, then place on the discard section of your plate or bread plate

Hanson rejects the old etiquette rule that "the way it went into your mouth, it needs to come out" (like spitting a fishbone onto a fork), calling it "complete nonsense" because it's impossible and draws attention

David shared a story of spitting filet into his napkin at a dinner in the south of France, hiding it under his thigh, only to have it slip onto the floor where a waiter "flings open my napkin and a bullet of my mashed up compressed filet goes flying across the dinner table"

"Regardless of whether there is something in your napkin or not, if your napkin has fallen to the floor, replace the napkin" - William, placing blame on the waiter for flicking open the napkin rather than simply replacing it

Modern Dating Etiquette Confusion

"People don't quite know what is appropriate and what is not appropriate" in dating because society has called out toxic behavior but created confusion about what constitutes flirting versus friendship

Hanson's husband experienced potential flirting at a Berlin gym when a tattooed, mustachioed person (later revealed to be someone notable) chose the treadmill directly next to him in a deserted gym, then placed his workout mat adjacent

"Games are for kids" - William on dating advice, advocating against strategic timing of texts or playing hard to get, instead recommending people "just be impulse. Just do what feels right"

First dates should be short (coffee or one drink) with an easy exit strategy, allowing for extension to dinner if things go well, rather than committing to a seven-course tasting menu with wine flight

"Focus on them. I think people love talking about themselves" - William's dating advice includes asking follow-up questions rather than trying to match or trump their stories

Hanson's unsuccessful university date involved pretending to enjoy nightclubs to impress someone he called Alfred, but they only became close friends after he admitted "this is me. I don't like that"

Public Behavior Pet Peeves

"Playing music or watching videos, even if they're yours or my videos, without headphones in public" is Hanson's biggest current etiquette complaint across every country he visits

Video calls in public are particularly egregious: "They're looking at the underside of your chin. Does that person really need to see that at that point?"

The behavior stems from arrogance that "whatever they're doing is more important than what the rest of us are doing" - though Hanson gives benefit of the doubt that most don't make a conscious choice to annoy others

"I'd taser them or something. I just you know you got to fight fire with fire" - William on his hypothetical punishment for public phone offenders if he were in charge of crime and punishment

David advocates for wired earphones because "the microphone is so close to your mouth, you can really whisper" and remain discreet, unlike wireless earphones that require shouting

The Punctuality Paradox

"I would rather a guest for dinner was an hour late than 10 minutes early" - William on home entertaining, explaining early guests arrive while hosts are still preparing

For dinner invitations stating 7:30, guests should arrive within 10-15 minutes of that time in Britain, which means arriving from 7:30, not eating at 7:30

"The friends that turn up for dinners early are not the ones that host" - William observes that people who actually entertain understand the importance of arrival timing

Business meetings require different punctuality: if a meeting starts at 11:00, "that means it starts at 11:00. We get going at 11, not you rock up, get a coffee, log onto the Wi-Fi, go to the bathroom"

For dates, be on time because "if I said, 'Let's go for a date at 8' and I haven't turned up within five minutes, I think the other person's going to think, 'Have I been stood up?'"

Hanson's parents were "pathologically punctual" and he "spent a lot of my childhood sitting in the car outside friends houses because we couldn't go in yet"

Gift Etiquette and Thank You Protocols

Regifting is acceptable for generic items like multiple panettones (Hanson received five last Christmas), boxes of chocolates, or non-inscribed books, as long as expiration dates are checked

"Once it's passed over to you, it's yours" - gifts belong to the recipient with no caveats, except inherited family jewelry like engagement rings which must be returned after breakups

Returning gifts after a breakup "screams of pettiness and almost as a way to sort of drive the knife in, particularly if you were the one that got broken up with"

Hanson writes four handwritten thank-you letters every morning before starting work, fulfilling a promise made seven and a half years ago on his podcast Help I Sexted My Boss

"I will continue to do it until whenever the day is we finish the podcast. It will be the only thing that I'm pleased that the podcast has ended" - William on his letter-writing commitment

The hierarchy of thank-yous: handwritten letters are best, phone calls are next, voice notes are acceptable, video notes work if done thoughtfully (not while rushing through Waitrose), and texts are worst

RSVP Rules and Social Obligations

"Maybe" as an RSVP option is unacceptable: "You're either going to something or you're not. There's no maybe" - it's Facebook that introduced this option, and "maybe is I'm not coming, but I don't want to say no"

Hosts "cannot produce vol-au-vents" or cater properly without definitive yes/no responses, making maybe responses impossible to accommodate for event planning

The only acceptable uncertainty is when circumstances are genuinely unknown, like Hanson's example of his husband attending a funeral with uncertain timing before a friend's birthday drinks

David's approach is to say no when uncertain, reasoning that changing from yes to no is disappointing, while changing from no to yes might be exciting - though this can backfire if the host has already filled your seat

Group gifts are acceptable for milestone birthdays or weddings, but recipients must write individual thank-you letters to each contributor, not just one collective note

Table Manners and Social Corrections

When someone has food in their teeth, Hanson's friend demonstrated perfect manners by putting spinach in his own teeth, prompting the date to notice, then revealing "oh you too" - creating shared embarrassment rather than singling her out

"It's always better to be more well-mannered than sort of doggedly follow the rules of etiquette" - William on the difference between manners and etiquette

To correct someone's table manners, lead by example rather than direct correction: demonstrate proper technique while commenting "Oh, these peas are delicious" to subtly show the correct method

Double-dipping is acceptable only if you flip the item around to an unbitten side, creating "a gap where it is sort of sanitized" with no overlap

Hanson is "quite anti fish" and "nothing fishy touches my lips" except tuna and tuna sushi, making him unable to eat fish and chips, smoked salmon, or caviar despite assumptions about his tastes

Finishing everything on your plate depends on who served you: if you helped yourself, yes; if someone else served you an oversized portion, eat as much as you can without making yourself ill

Small Talk Strategy and Conversation Exit

Small talk duration varies by culture: "Between two Brits, it could be 45 minutes. If it's in Germany, it'll be about 45 milliseconds" - Brits and people from Arab regions are particularly good at small talk

Hanson's small talk go-tos include "What sort of day have you had?", "How do you know the host?", "Are you working on anything exciting?", and "Is there something you always wish you could learn?"

His favorite approach is asking questions people have never been asked before, like asking a nurse "What's your favorite ailment to treat?" which led to an interesting conversation about sepsis

To exit conversations politely, never leave someone standing alone - instead, introduce them to someone else: "Have you met Simon?" then excuse yourself to talk to someone you need to see

"You don't have to have an opinion on everything. Not everything is a hot take" - William on the modern pressure to comment on every issue, advocating for admitting ignorance when appropriate

"I'm an etiquette coach. I'll talk about etiquette. I'm not going to talk about politics because nobody is interested" - Hanson on staying in one's lane rather than offering opinions on everything

William's Alapubel vs Fantastic

Alapubel (trash): ties and pocket squares that match ("really grim"), light blue suits with brown shoes, visible underwear including bra straps and waistbands, and people playing dating games

"Always black in town. Brown in the country" - William's rule for shoe color with tailoring, though fashion trainers are acceptable with smart casual attire

"There's only one time you should see someone's underwear and that's if you're getting to know them on a horizontal basis" - or if you're a doctor in A&E or in a relationship getting dressed together

Fantastic: eye contact, using people's names, treating everyone from dukes to cleaning staff with equal respect, clear speech regardless of accent, handwritten thank-you letters, and being yourself

At Hanson's school, prospective staff members were toured by him and evaluated on whether they greeted everyone including cleaning staff and porters - those who ignored "lower levels" were reported and not hired

"If you walk down a corridor and you do not go hello to the person who's cleaning the loos because you somehow think that they are not worthy of a greeting as a human being. You should be walked off the planet"